If my therapist and I don’t click…
Looking for YOUR therapist is a journey! It is likely you will have to try several therapists before you find the person who clicks for you (read more about that process HERE). That is not a reflection on you or them per se—that's just human. So what does one do when this happens?
In a perfect world, you will tell the care provider that you've been working with. Sometimes an honest conversation can change a lot. Being able to tolerate the emotions involved in having this type of conversation is a very important skill, and a good therapist will be able to support you in recognizing and practicing these skills in real time.
If a conversation does not help, then it might be time to move on. Ideally, one's provider will offer a final "termination session" to reflect on the work and discuss what you might bring to a future provider to ensure continuity of care, but sometimes that isn't desirable or practical. Sending a text or an email to let the provider know that you are okay but have decided to move on and do not wish to have a termination session is kind and will head off repeated attempts to contact you.
Once you have declared that you want to terminate with your provider and have had your last session, you will receive written confirmation from the provider confirming this decision. They will also likely let you know that you are welcome to resume at any time. If you're leaving feeling upset, resist the urge to tell them to "eff off" or whatever phrasing comes to mind in the moment—the invitation to return is a professional courtesy that providers typically offer.
If you feel comfortable, you can ask your provider for recommendations/referrals, and they should be able to offer a few.
If you do not feel comfortable asking your provider for recommendations/referrals, revisit your list of criteria to see if it still reflects your needs and then revisit the process outlined in "What to Expect When Looking for a Therapist" and/or check out this non-exhaustive list of "Organizations That Offer Free & Low Cost Resources" in the Philadelphia area.
